How are the relationships under your roof right now? Of course, the answers change week in and week out. But pondering this question regularly can keep our relationships moving forward with positive intention, in healthy ways and can keep resentment and frustration with one another from building too much.
I will be using this dialogue space each week to connect, support and provide coaching, ideas and answers directly with parents in this community. On Mondays, I will kick off a discussion and you can chime in and read responses throughout the week. Today, I would love to hear what ages your children are and what are some of the points of frustration and questions that you have in your parenting life right now. I will start in the dialogue section. This will help me take stock of what our community is dealing with at this unique point in time so I can create videos and newsletters to help support and tackle these issues. I so look forward to hearing from you all (just click below to join in and feel free to share with other parents)!
Hey there parents. I am so hopeful we can connect here. My children are ages 6, 9 & 11. My 9 year old is turning 10 in about 10 days (: He's on countdown. When I sit down to think about the relationships under my roof right now and what issues are popping up for me, the first thing that comes to mind is that my 9 year old son is so easy at this point in his life. He doesn't complain much, he's never bored. He makes his own fun and is just easy going. What could possibly be wrong with this, ha! Well, what I've realized is that my other two children just demand more of my time and energy these days than him. So he can fly under the radar for long parts of the day. And that can be fine sometimes but just because he is easy doesn't mean he doesn't deserve my attention and efforts at deep connection. So I am moving forward this week focusing on setting aside one on one time with him.
I have 8, 6 and almost 4 year old boys. While there are layers of frustration, especially during the pandemic, my biggest frustration is my capacity to parent consistently and lovingly. I am really struggling with the constant-ness of it all right now. Our entire family is experiencing above-average anger and below-average tolerance. Finding time for everyone's needs (or even part of everyone's needs) feels impossible or just too much :(.
Hey Lori ~ so good to hear from you! Thanks for sharing your boys ages and one of your challenges right now. Yes to the CONSTANT-NESS of parenting right now. You are not alone in this. I too have gone through phases during this pandemic where my patience and capacity to hold everything has been greatly diminished. Adults have so much on our minds and hearts these days and I find that when we are filled to the max with these concerns, it can be even harder to hold space for our children's daily ups and downs. I look forward to addressing and listening to your concerns and frustrations and creating a space where you can find rest, reassurance and Hand in Hand parenting tools and ideas (which I know are in your tool belt but can be hard to access when we feel so much stress). My love to you.
Hello, I have a 2 and 3.5 year old. Right now we are struggling with sibling boundaries. Pushing, hitting, biting, kicking-space is “invaded” quickly and lots of emotions follow. I’m trying my hardest to fill each ones attention tank daily, but my oldest is engaging in a lot of unwanted behavior for my attention.
Hey Megan. Yes, hello sibling issues. Tis the season (COVID season) when siblings are around each other non-stop. I have two kids who have been bickering quite a bit lately (and they are usually not the two out of my 3 who have the issue). I know you are doing your best to fill their tanks and aggression is one of the hardest issues that I have faced as a parent. We will definitely be getting into sibling issues and aggression and I am so glad you are here for it. Chime in as much as you want, lean into the support, we hold you here knowing you are an excellent mama to your two little ones, you are the perfect parent for them. Sending my love and support to you today as you navigate these boundary issues. More soon Meggan! xo
I have three boys, ages 6.5, 5 and 20 months. There are so many things that are tricky about our dynamic (and so many that are totally awesome) but the thing that sticks out right now is my middle son’s intensity. He has always been intense. He carries his emotions right at the surface and they are big: big joy, big anger, big frustration, and so on. I want to pour love into him when he’s in a particular rough patch with lots of outbursts, so he sees that he is loved unconditionally and doesn’t have a sense of shame associated with his already intense feelings; however, it’s so hard to pour anything into him because he vents almost everything in the form of anger and it affects the whole family in a big way. How do I balance supporting him and shielding the others from the emotional ripple effect? Thanks!
Hey Cait! So good to hear from you. It's fascinating to me as a mom of 3 as well how different personalities and temperaments can create so many dynamics in a home. Hand in Hand parenting has so much to offer in helping kids with their big feelings (and supporting parents to do this often difficult work with them). I have seen one of my sons through loads of big feelings over the years (it's really what brought me to Hand in Hand in the first place). Hang in there dear mama, lean in to this group as much as you want and need and I will have more soon on all things big feelings! So glad you are here.
I have a 9, 14, and 17 year old. My frustration this summer is TOO MUCH SCREENTIME. I feel like I have a plan, I try to execute the plan for limiting screen time, and then work hits and I get too lazy to implement. My old kids are very into mountain biking and music, so at least they break up their time. I struggle with my youngest, whose friends are on all the time, and playing together is their summer play. I have tried to do things like art projects and board games. But honestly, when I'm working during the week - I just don't have the energy to oversee and support my 9 year old. He wants to do things WITH me, which is totally understandable. But that's the struggle I have.
Hey Louise ~ thanks for sharing your frustration of too much screen time. I just heard from two other mothers who are also maxed out in frustration over screen time. I can tell you are seeing this issue from all angles - making the plan but work taking over and seeing that your 9 year old wants connection. I am so glad you are here and we can definitely increase your level of support and provide some ideas and tools to try out during this tough COVID time and beyond. More soon!
I have a 6 and 9 year old. My frustration is working from home and being a parent in this. My kids play really well together, but they want my attention to show me something they've made, have me read a book to them or build a fort. I love them and want to remember how to play with them, but I also need to keep a roof over our head. Whatever I choose in that moment, to play or not to play, I feel guilty. We do schedules, we carve out time, we do "all the things" and we've set up "pod" camp with two other trusted families, which helps. But still in those moments of spontaneity when they are basically just asking for reassurance that everything is ok, I feel like I can't make the right call.
I hear you Tyler. Thank you for sharing. These are incredibly tough times on parents. Just like in many other areas of society, this pandemic is shining a light on what is not working in our country. Even before this pandemic, parents were stretched thin, holding too much, running in too many directions and exhausting ourselves in the process. I can hear in your response that you are doing all that you can to meet these incredible challenges and that nothing feels like it is working. In truth, I think we all realize, this can't work - parents can't hold down a job and parent at the same time. We will always be dropping a ball somewhere. I am glad you are leaning into this community for additional support and to voice what is hard. We have kids the same ages! And I am so grateful to hear from you so that I can take into account ages and situations when I create my upcoming videos and newsletters with tools and ideas from Hand in Hand parenting and beyond. Hang it there Tyler. I am cheering you on and look forward to more dialogue and problem solving in the weeks and months to come .
Hey there parents. I am so hopeful we can connect here. My children are ages 6, 9 & 11. My 9 year old is turning 10 in about 10 days (: He's on countdown. When I sit down to think about the relationships under my roof right now and what issues are popping up for me, the first thing that comes to mind is that my 9 year old son is so easy at this point in his life. He doesn't complain much, he's never bored. He makes his own fun and is just easy going. What could possibly be wrong with this, ha! Well, what I've realized is that my other two children just demand more of my time and energy these days than him. So he can fly under the radar for long parts of the day. And that can be fine sometimes but just because he is easy doesn't mean he doesn't deserve my attention and efforts at deep connection. So I am moving forward this week focusing on setting aside one on one time with him.
I have 8, 6 and almost 4 year old boys. While there are layers of frustration, especially during the pandemic, my biggest frustration is my capacity to parent consistently and lovingly. I am really struggling with the constant-ness of it all right now. Our entire family is experiencing above-average anger and below-average tolerance. Finding time for everyone's needs (or even part of everyone's needs) feels impossible or just too much :(.
Hey Lori ~ so good to hear from you! Thanks for sharing your boys ages and one of your challenges right now. Yes to the CONSTANT-NESS of parenting right now. You are not alone in this. I too have gone through phases during this pandemic where my patience and capacity to hold everything has been greatly diminished. Adults have so much on our minds and hearts these days and I find that when we are filled to the max with these concerns, it can be even harder to hold space for our children's daily ups and downs. I look forward to addressing and listening to your concerns and frustrations and creating a space where you can find rest, reassurance and Hand in Hand parenting tools and ideas (which I know are in your tool belt but can be hard to access when we feel so much stress). My love to you.
Hello, I have a 2 and 3.5 year old. Right now we are struggling with sibling boundaries. Pushing, hitting, biting, kicking-space is “invaded” quickly and lots of emotions follow. I’m trying my hardest to fill each ones attention tank daily, but my oldest is engaging in a lot of unwanted behavior for my attention.
Hey Megan. Yes, hello sibling issues. Tis the season (COVID season) when siblings are around each other non-stop. I have two kids who have been bickering quite a bit lately (and they are usually not the two out of my 3 who have the issue). I know you are doing your best to fill their tanks and aggression is one of the hardest issues that I have faced as a parent. We will definitely be getting into sibling issues and aggression and I am so glad you are here for it. Chime in as much as you want, lean into the support, we hold you here knowing you are an excellent mama to your two little ones, you are the perfect parent for them. Sending my love and support to you today as you navigate these boundary issues. More soon Meggan! xo
I have three boys, ages 6.5, 5 and 20 months. There are so many things that are tricky about our dynamic (and so many that are totally awesome) but the thing that sticks out right now is my middle son’s intensity. He has always been intense. He carries his emotions right at the surface and they are big: big joy, big anger, big frustration, and so on. I want to pour love into him when he’s in a particular rough patch with lots of outbursts, so he sees that he is loved unconditionally and doesn’t have a sense of shame associated with his already intense feelings; however, it’s so hard to pour anything into him because he vents almost everything in the form of anger and it affects the whole family in a big way. How do I balance supporting him and shielding the others from the emotional ripple effect? Thanks!
Hey Cait! So good to hear from you. It's fascinating to me as a mom of 3 as well how different personalities and temperaments can create so many dynamics in a home. Hand in Hand parenting has so much to offer in helping kids with their big feelings (and supporting parents to do this often difficult work with them). I have seen one of my sons through loads of big feelings over the years (it's really what brought me to Hand in Hand in the first place). Hang in there dear mama, lean in to this group as much as you want and need and I will have more soon on all things big feelings! So glad you are here.
I have a 9, 14, and 17 year old. My frustration this summer is TOO MUCH SCREENTIME. I feel like I have a plan, I try to execute the plan for limiting screen time, and then work hits and I get too lazy to implement. My old kids are very into mountain biking and music, so at least they break up their time. I struggle with my youngest, whose friends are on all the time, and playing together is their summer play. I have tried to do things like art projects and board games. But honestly, when I'm working during the week - I just don't have the energy to oversee and support my 9 year old. He wants to do things WITH me, which is totally understandable. But that's the struggle I have.
Hey Louise ~ thanks for sharing your frustration of too much screen time. I just heard from two other mothers who are also maxed out in frustration over screen time. I can tell you are seeing this issue from all angles - making the plan but work taking over and seeing that your 9 year old wants connection. I am so glad you are here and we can definitely increase your level of support and provide some ideas and tools to try out during this tough COVID time and beyond. More soon!
I have a 6 and 9 year old. My frustration is working from home and being a parent in this. My kids play really well together, but they want my attention to show me something they've made, have me read a book to them or build a fort. I love them and want to remember how to play with them, but I also need to keep a roof over our head. Whatever I choose in that moment, to play or not to play, I feel guilty. We do schedules, we carve out time, we do "all the things" and we've set up "pod" camp with two other trusted families, which helps. But still in those moments of spontaneity when they are basically just asking for reassurance that everything is ok, I feel like I can't make the right call.
I hear you Tyler. Thank you for sharing. These are incredibly tough times on parents. Just like in many other areas of society, this pandemic is shining a light on what is not working in our country. Even before this pandemic, parents were stretched thin, holding too much, running in too many directions and exhausting ourselves in the process. I can hear in your response that you are doing all that you can to meet these incredible challenges and that nothing feels like it is working. In truth, I think we all realize, this can't work - parents can't hold down a job and parent at the same time. We will always be dropping a ball somewhere. I am glad you are leaning into this community for additional support and to voice what is hard. We have kids the same ages! And I am so grateful to hear from you so that I can take into account ages and situations when I create my upcoming videos and newsletters with tools and ideas from Hand in Hand parenting and beyond. Hang it there Tyler. I am cheering you on and look forward to more dialogue and problem solving in the weeks and months to come .